Do you remember the days at school when you would don the bright green his vis jacket and learn to cross the road. The whole class would go to some random road and be taught to walk strait across it and not diagonal. To be about 1 step away from the curb. But most importantly do you remember that before you step out into the dangerous world of road crossing...you look left and then right (unless you foreign and its right then left) That was basically the one thing you had to remember before attempting extreme road crossing.
This "LnR" looking is imperative to all road crossing situations...in fact even going down to oxford street and crossing the path to get into a shop we use the "LnR" routine. Its natural we do it with out thinking about it. Actually scratch that last bit! Because some people dont do it naturally, some people obviously like to live on the edge...extreme road crossing at its finest!
Not sure if i've mentioned this before, but i skate to work...have i said that...im sure i havent...oh and its 10miles a day...Usually i would moan about how people get in my fucking way and are too busy looking at the pavement/wall/anything other than where they are going. But i wont because i understand that me rolling at them really fast in a high vis green fleece maybe a bit shocking, and i've also learnt to deal with these people by just hitting them or whistling to get out of my way. If you know me you'll know i am basically a hobbit, and thus with skates on i look like a normal sized person, if you dont see my feet you may even think i float round london with ease.
I have now got a new hobby..another one..(archhunt on twitter is one of my faves) but this is a NEW shiny hobby. I now count how many people will nearly kill themselves on the way to work. Oh its most fun! its like suicide counting...kinda. As many of you know in london there are alot of these big red four wheel vehicles that some like to call ... buses. Round Hyde Park alone there are loads of these things! a moment doesnt go past when there isnt one! I can tell just by looking at them that if they touch you at some speed it wont tickle, some say may even cause injury!
So now on my way to work i see how many people nearly die because i dont look "LnR" before crossing, and round victoria alone i counted at least 15! and this is fine its like natural selection those dozy twats deserve to get hit. This part is the next part of my new hobby, if they turn round and complain that forwhatever reason that bus shouldnt have been there...in the road...where everyone can see it...where is supposed to be...you are allowed to say twat or cunt, depending your own preference, to them. I've used a bit of a spy technique...i slowly skate up behind them and say cunt just loud enough for them to hear it...if you can...follow them..still saying cunt...they tend to get annoyed.
So this BASIC skill is being ignored everywhere. I fucking bet when they are driving though they are the first people to complain about pedestrians. Maybe even go home and beat their kids for not looking left then right...infact if they have kids and they dont look left and right you are allowed to slap them!
Ashley on Twitter
Oh btw, did i mention i skate to work..takes about 30mins. yeah i know..really fast...its about 5miles each...yeah i know...i am cunt
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